Prologue to 'Becoming A Better Me'
by Sakura Scout
Summary: Another peace offering to my readers. It's crappy, but read anyways. AND DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!


KONNICHIWA!! Yuppers! It's me! And **no**, I haven't given up on 'Becoming A Better Me'. Is it on hiatus? Maybe, but no guarantee that any chapters will be out soon.

Anyhoo, this little one-shot is what happened the night Leena told Doc that she was leaving the Blitz team. Yup, that's right. And its in Leena's POV also.

ENJOY!!

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Prologue to 'Becoming A Better Me'

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I tear down the last poster on my picture wall (refer to Chapter 8 of 'Becoming a Better me') and crumple it up before tossing it into the trash bag beside me. There's only one thing left on the wall, the photo our team took after winning the Royal Cup. Picking it up, I can only gaze as it and struggle to hold back the tears.

Rubbing away the moisture in my eyes, I wrap the frame in old newspaper before placing it into my backpack. I look at my backpack and duffle bag, the only pieces of luggage I'm going to bring with me. Sure enough, I couldn't get all of my clothes and stuff to fit into the two bags, but that's okay. The guys can split the stuff up among themselves or sell it; though I think the latter is more favorable for them. I'm pretty sure Naomi is going to look better in my designer clothes that I ever will, even if we are near the same size.

I sigh and take a look around the room I have grown up in for ... well ... pretty much all my life. Everything's bare, save for the three garbage bags and four boxes of stuff/clothes. I briefly wonder if someone else, someone more better than me in personality and piloting skills alike, will come along and claim this room as their own.

Most likely.

The metal of the door is cool under my touch before it slides away to let pass. I leave my bags in my room as the door slides back into place. I won't be leaving just yet; I still have to tell everyone about what I'm about to do.

I'm sure they'll be thrilled to hear it.

I can hear laughter coming from the rec. room. No doubt Bit's making an ass out of himself, laughing along with everyone at his stupidity. Getting closer, I can identify everyone's own laugh. Brad is chuckling in a low tone, Jamie's laughing with his sides undoubtedly aching along with Dad, and Bit is, without a doubt, laughing the hardest and loudest. I find my lips curling upwards, my own burst of giggles fighting for freedom. How can they all have such an affect on me? Making me smile and laugh just by the sound of their own laughter.

I hate them because of that.

I wipe the smile off my face and push aside all of those feelings. If I don't do this now, I won't be able to do so later.

I'm greeted with the sight of Jamie and Dad leaning on each other for support as they laugh uncontrollably. Brad is clutching his coffee mug, trying his best not to spill any of its contents as he chuckles deeply. And then I see Bit rolling on the floor, his whole being shaking in laughter.

"What's so funny?" The whole lot of them doesn't stop their merrymaking and are unable to speak. Because of this, they just point at the large monitor up on the wall. Thoughts of what I had come into the room to tell disappear. My lips part ever so slightly as they curl upwards, a fit of giggles overcoming my being. There on the screen, is a home video of moments where everyone was in one of their most hysterical moments.

I guess I was wrong, though Bit did make an ass out of himself in many of the clips. I was in a few, but it was to be expected. In the end, I end up by Bit's side, laughing to my heart's desire. When the home movie is over and the laughter has died down some, I find myself and Bit leaning against each other.

And for some reason, I don't feel like hurting him for being so close.

"Where were you, Leena? I haven't seen you around for the past couple of hours." I turn to Jamie, remembering why I had been missing for the past couple of hours and why I had come to face all of them. I open my mouth, ready to give the speech I had all planned out, but nothing comes out.

I turn my gaze to Dad and take a deep breath before trying again. Again, nothing but soundless air passes over my lips. The four of them look at me; curious as to why I've become so quiet. I feel someone's hand on my shoulder, Bit looks concerned and I don't feel like swatting his hand away; the weight actually feels nice.

"Leena, what's the matter?" I turn from Bit to Brad, his brow creased in worry, surprising me. Am I acting that much out of character? Clearing my throat, then coughing, I give Brad a hard look.

"I felt kinda sick, so I took a nap. Is there something wrong with that?" My tone is biting and prideful, as usual. The tone in which I am lying to them with isn't what gets to me; it's the concept of lying to them at all. What am I doing? Shouldn't I be telling them that I was packing up, cleaning up my room, and getting ready to leave them for good?

I felt Bit pull me to my feet, easing me over to the door while everyone looked on in concern. Were they **that** worried about me?

"You shouldn't be out of bed if you still feel sick. Did you take any medicine?" I shake my head and wonder when Bit had become so caring. He has always had a knack for helping people, but since when did he start caring about **me**? Especially since I'm the one who beats him to a pulp on a regular basis.

Isn't he supposed to hate me?

As Bit helps me out the door of the rec. room, I turn my head to get a glimpse of everyone. I tell myself that I have to say it now, while I still have their attention. The fabric of Bit's blue and black shirt is soft and smooth as I grab a hold of it to tug, causing Bit to stop in the doorway. I open my mouth to tell them all about my plans of leaving, but once again, no sound comes out. My cheeks flush in anger, but I think they take it as a flush in fever.

"I'll get you some medicine and make you some soup, Leena. You may need it later." Jamie stands from his seat and starts his way to the kitchen.

"It's okay, Jamie. I'm fine, really. Besides, I already took some medicine. All I need is some rest, honest." Jamie seems reluctant, but he nods in reply. I think I was just lying to him in complete tenderness. Bit must think that I **am** ill.

"Come on, Leena. We better get you back to bed." I push myself away from him and give him a scowl.

"I am **very** capable of getting to my room by myself without any of your help, thank you. G'night, everyone!" I glance over everyone's face; this would be the last time I would be seeing them. Yup. I'm not changing my mind.

I'm leaving. With or without telling them all.

Brad is reading his newspaper while sipping his coffee, but I can tell he's fighting the urge to look at me. He can be that way sometimes. Ever since Leon left, he's taken the role of 'big brother', though not a good enough job to pass as Leon. Jamie is getting up to head to bed himself, his sleepy eyes not betraying anything including the concern he's aiming my way. Always the smart one. 'Early to bed, early to rise'. And with Jamie always being the first to wake up in the morning, that makes sense. Dad is playing with his zoid models. He's childish and incredibly smart. Enough said. Bit is looking at me concerned and somewhat upset by my refusal of his escort. He's a sweet guy, but I'm not a damsel in distress. He should know that by now, especially after all he beatings I've put him through.

Turning my back to them, I make it to the living quarters before Jamie and lock my door behind me while turning off the lights. I hear Jamie come up to my door and knock. I don't answer and he eventually leaves. Once I'm sure of that, I go over to my phone and call a taxi to pick me up at midnight. It takes some convincing on my part for the Taxi Company to come out this far so late at night to drive me to Romeo City, but I'm victorious in the end.

As I wait for midnight to come, I'm stuck thinking about my teammates ... My friends ... My family ...

Dad with his childish antics and zoid models; Brad and his addiction to black coffee and money; Jamie, brooding over how unorganized we all are along with his crazy alter ego, the Wild Eagle; and Bit, with his cocky attitude, natural battling skills, and Ultimate-X.

Should I tell them that they'll never see me again? Nah. If I couldn't say its before in the rec. room, then I'm sure I can't tell them now. Besides, they'll be too ecstatic and to see their expressions would make me face reality.

No one wants me around. They'd all be better off without me.

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That's not true. Oh, great. The little voice in my head, a.k.a. my conscience, is trying to persuade me to stay. I hate it when it does stuff like this.

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They were all concerned about you when you said that you didn't feel well. So? Big deal. They're all nice guys; they would do the same with anyone.

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That's not true and you know it! Don't be stubborn and-- OH! Looks who's talking! Arg! I can't believe I'm arguing with myself!

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At least tell Dad. You don't have to tell him that much. Just tell him that you're leaving. Wow. My conscience is **actually** agreeing with me for once. So I **can** leave without my conscience giving me the guilt trip. I open the door and make sure that everyone is too preoccupied to notice me as I make my way to Dad's study.

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Do you really want to leave without coming back? Sure. They don't need me around. Like I said, they'd be better off without me.

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Then you're just taking the easy way out, like a coward. What? I am **no** coward.

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Then why not improve who and what you are. Prove to them-- What's there to prove? I suck and don't deserve to even know these people much less be on their team in Class-S. I mean, Bit has an Ultimate-X and natural talent for battling, Brad's got Shadow Fox and is a mercenary for a reason, Jamie has an alternate ego and an incredible aerial zoid, and Dad is a zoid genius. What am **I** good at? Wasting ammo, getting everyone into trouble, and being a pain on and off the battlefield, that's what.

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Then change what you're good at. Become a better you. Become a better me? You mean, up to the point where I won't be talking to myself in my head anymore?

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Precisely! Well ... I guess it couldn't hurt, especially if it means that I won't be talking to myself anymore. Then I'll show all of them that I'm just as good as they are.

But will they care?

Oh shoot! I just reached Dad's study. What should I say?

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Simply tell him what we're going to do. You mean become a better me? I get no response, so I take it as a 'yes'. Man. I didn't know I had enough issues to have my sub-consciousness take on a personality of its own. Then again, it's probably just reflecting my own attitude. Sighing, I place my hand onto the metal plate on the door and it slides open for me to enter.

"Dad?" He looks up from his zoid models to face me. Immediately, his expression changes to that of concern.

Why is he so worried?

"Leena, what's wrong?" Wrong? Why would he think something's wrong. Oh. I probably don't look all that cheerful right now. Am I that sad about leaving? I guess it comes with the knowledge that the only reason why you're leaving is because you're useless. I lower my head to hide my face and clench my fists.

"I'm leaving the team." I chance a glance upward in his direction and am greeted with a dumbfounded gaze. Dad kinda looks funny that way, his eyes wide and his jaw hanging open like that.

"Why would you want to leave the team?" Why? I clench my fists even more, the knuckles turning white and my nails threatening to puncture my skin. That's a stupid question. He should know how pathetic I am. He **is**, after all, my father and the manager of the team.

"I'm nothing but a useless piece of junk to the team. I waste ammo, I always need someone to bail me out, I'm the first one down, and all I do is cost everyone trouble. Not only that, but outside the battlefield, I'm only a nuisance. Everyone would be better off without me." He shakes his head quickly and I don't know whether it's to tell me I was wrong or to shake the idea of it all out of his head.

I didn't know he cared either way.

"Leena, you know that's not true--" Not true?! Where has his brain been all this time since team Blitz was first created? And he's the zoid genius of the family. Sometimes I wonder.

"But it is, Dad! It's all true! Jamie doesn't need someone picking on him. Brad sure doesn't need to split the prize money with a useless pilot. And Bit honestly doesn't need someone beating him up, stealing his cookies, and chasing him non-stop around the base day-in and day-out. Face it, dad: I'm not needed here and it's about time I figured that out." Dad lowers his head, obviously tossing in the towel in trying to convince me that I'm wrong. He looks defeated when he sighs. I think he's finally getting it now.

"I'm guessing by the way you came up to me about this, you don't want me to tell the guys until you're gone. Am I right?" I nod. Finally. He understands the truth of what I'm saying.

"So ... When are you leaving?" Dad sits down in a distraught manner.

I seriously didn't think he would care to know.

"Tonight." His head snaps up so quickly that I wonder if he suffered from whiplash.

"What do you mean by 'tonight'?" Ugh! Another stupid question. I thought the two-syllable word would be enough. Regardless, I sigh and relax a bit, knowing that the explanation part of the conversation was over.

"I already packed and called a cab to bring me into town." His eyes went to stare at his desk sadly.

It wasn't all that bad for news, was it?

"When are you planning on coming back?" There's the question I've been dreading. Should I stick with my original plan or go with the one my conscience made up on the spur of the moment? Words come out of my mouth before I can think it through.

"I don't know. As long as it takes me to become a better person and warrior." I pause for a moment as Dad stares at me. He's probably thinking about the depth of my words. I'm not so sure there **is** any depth to them, though.

"So you want to go on a trip of self-discovery like Leon?" I smile at the thought. If I could grow as much as Leon did ...

"Yeah ... To prove myself to you and the team that I'm worthy enough to be on team Blitz and be in Class-S. I'll come back after I prove that, I promise." Dad pulls out his wallet, taking out a card and handing it out to me.

"Take it. It has a balance of $5,000. You can take the Gun Sniper--"

"No." I push the credit card back into his hand, shaking my head.

"I have enough saved up and I don't need the Gun Sniper. You can sell it if you want; technically, I could care less about it." He nods and puts the credit card back into his wallet, then swivels in his plush chair so that he's not facing me anymore.

"Alright then. You better grab your stuff and get ready for your taxi. Don't worry. I'll tell the guys about this in the morning." I gaze at the floor for a bit before heading to the door to leave. When I open the door, I stop, run over to Dad and hug him for all he's worth before running out of the room.

I don't dare look back.

Once I reach my room, I put on my backpack and sling my duffle bag over one shoulder. I poke my head into the hallway to make sure the close is clear. All the lights are off, so I guess it's safe to go. Having lived in this base all my life, I easily navigate myself to the hangar through the seemingly pitch-black halls. When I finally reach my destination, I can hear the low rumble of a car in the distance. I guess the cab is early.

I walk out of the hangar and into the cold night, grateful for the windbreaker I'm wearing and my wise decision on wearing jeans today. The cab is just about stopping and the driver is motioning me to hop in; I do so, throwing my stuff into the back. As the yellow car drives away from the Toros base with me as its passenger, I keep my eyes forward.

If I look back now, I'll want to go back to my delusions that anyone really cares about me. I know that's not true. I can't afford to back down now; I've gone too far.

From this point on, I'm becoming a better me.

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Wow, that was ... interesting. Hope you enjoyed it.

Sorry if it was crappy. The idea just came to me a few days ago and I just had to write it down.

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REVIEW PLEASE!!

Sakura Scout


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